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It was the fourth grade and another
summery day at Shoreline’s Syre
Elementary. The children at the playground
were restless. Something was in
the air. I strode onto campus with my
faded, baggy jeans and rat’s tail. Man…I
owned 1996.
All of a sudden, a movement caught
my eye. I turned to see Steve M. He was
that other guy who had the same first
name as me. Ever since that fateful day
when our mothers gave birth to us,
named us the same name and placed us
into the same school…we were enemies.
“Hey Step-hen! You look like a nerd!” And
then the laughter. That hated laughter! I
swear I hate that laughter more than the
Grinch hates noise.
I was so depressed, on the way home
I intentionally turned up my Tears for
Fears tape even though I knew the person
next to me could hear it. At home I
went crying to my mother as the other
boys had so nicely recommended and
explained to her that I was something
awful. Something spiteful and evil and
even worse, something I didn’t know.
Hey…what is a nerd anyway? Webster’s
Dictionary defines it as someone who is
extremely interested and knowledgeable
about computers. Not so bad when you
discover that computers are defined as a
device which computes.
I don’t know if you’ve examined the
Forbes list of the richest people lately
but William Gates III and Warren Buffett
top the list with a combined worth of
over 120 billion dollars. Both total nerds.
Just look at Gates’ hair. Very nerdy. I bet
Steve M. would have made fun of him
in school. Well guess what Steve? I just
made a billion dollars selling computers
that don’t work to little dweeby kids like
you! How you like them comeuppance?
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