Sex with S&M

Dear S&M,

Could you please recommend some edible sex products?

Signed,

Hungry and Horny

Dear Hungry and Horny, We were very excited to research this question as our appetites were growing. After all, the next best thing to sex is food! In an effort to best answer your question, we headed off to our favorite store: Lover’s Package.

While there are many products in the store, we narrowed it down to apparel, lubes, and body paint. We decided to omit flavored massage oils because they are too sticky to use. Instead, we just bought regular massage oils and left the flavors to the lubes.

Our favorite lube comes from ForPlay Succulents. The flavor: Rootbeer Float. This water based lubricant has all the appeal of a normal root beer float, including the fizz factor. Believe it or not, it does indeed fizz. However, we recommend small doses for each use. Any more than that can leave you foaming at the mouth. And at $15.95 a bottle (5.25 oz), making it last as long as possible will help you get the most out of the product.

Another popular product in the flavored lube department comes from Sex Tarts. We only sprung for the sample sizes (6 cc) at $1.95 each. Their four tangy lubes for lovers include Grape Soda, Green Apple, Strawberry Punch and Tangy Tangerine. The two flavors we recommend are Strawberry Punch and Grape Soda. The other two taste like stinky feet (if you’re into that foot fetish thing).

For the chocolate lovers, Chocoholic’s Devine Desserts offers a variety of products including a Chocolate “Tattoo” Set ($19.95). The box set comes with a 10 oz. jar of body frosting, paintbrush, and three sheets of stencils. The provocative stencil sayings include, “yummy”, “lick”, “kiss” and various decals. The rich chocolate quality is so good, we even recommend it for decorating your baked goods. Other frosting flavors include cherry and raspberry, and are sold separately.

Our last products are The Candy Bra ($9.95) and The Gummie Undies ($9.95), which come in Sour Apple, Strawberry, and Cherry. The Candy Bra is reminiscent of those old rainbow candy necklaces and is 30 servings per bra. It is equipped with extra long straps to accommodate most sizes. Other candy products include a g-string, male pouch, and suspenders.

The Gummie Undies are moderately like the fruit roll-ups, but are thicker, making them chewier. The smell of the undies is also quite intense. They are equipped with a hole for easy access.

I hope this helps. Let us know where you find success.

Signed,

S&M

Products were provided by Lover’s Package.

The Obama-Wright relationship Battles brewing over coal export from the Northwest to Asia Liquor privatization contested Responses to 'Stand up and occupy your country' NAACP links campaign for gay rights to African-American struggle Greener drainage systems planned for Seattle Teachers, staffers get layoff notices Protect forage fish, cornerstone of our ocean's food web While salmon may be iconic, we must not forget to protect the health and numbers of the cornerstone of our ocean's food web — namely, the less-well-known forage fish, writes guest columnist Paul Shively. Because Ron Paul backers show up, expect a battle at the GOP convention in Tacoma Seattle Times editorial columnist Bruce Ramsey outlines the strategy of the Ron Paul forces and predicts a floor fight at the state convention of the Washington State Republican Party. The Obama campaign's strange assault on private equity Private-equity firms like Bain Capital are not lovable, but they forced a renaissance that revived American capitalism, writes David Brooks. Will the U.S. continue this process of rigorous creative destruction. More immediately, will the nation take the transformation of the private sector and extend it to the public sector? NAACP returns to relevance by backing same-sex marriage With its support for gay marriage, the NAACP has done more than strike a blow for fairness and equality, writes Eugene Robinson. The nation's most venerable civil-rights organization has made itself relevant again.

Opinion