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-Sex with S & M -

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DEAR S&M,

My girlfriend occasionally makes jokes about the size of my penis. It isn't an issue when we're having sex, but I still feel insecure when she makes the jokes. Does size really matter?

SIGNED, FEELING SMALL

DEAR FEELING SMALL,

It's really unfortunate that your girlfriend makes fun of you. It sounds like you can please her in bed so we're not really sure why she is dealing the low blows. But rest assured, if size was really an issue for her, she would've dumped you by now. And she hasn't, so let's not put too much stock into the size thing.

However, your insecurities still exist so we'll address this part of it. Believe it or not, the average size of the flaccid male penis is three and a half inches. When erect, the average size of the penis is only six inches. While these statistics are pretty spot on, they are independent of certain parameters (ie. age, nationality).

It does seem, though, that the world has some sort of fascination with size. There are numerous products on the market now that claim they increase penis size. There are natural methods that involve pulling and stretching and all sorts of other things to become larger.

But is size really all that important? Besides, once it's bigger, where do you plan on storing it? If it looks like you're packing, you might have to register the firearm as if it were a real gun. Even if Ron Jeremy makes it look easy to live with a large penis, imagine having to learn how to walk again, this time with three legs.

But no matter the statistics or the pills or the male porn stars, what is determined as “big” and “small” is all subjective. What matters is what goes on in bed. And as long as you're both satisfied, you have nothing to worry about. Because when you really think about it, there is only so much square footage available for the penis to fit. The vagina does not go on forever.

SIGNED, S&M

Sex with S&M is written by staff writers Sandy Lam and Miko Calivo. Please send your queries to ebbtidemail-sm@yahoo.com

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