Ebbtide - Shoreline Community College

The SCC Campus Salon

A new hair club for men?

DAN GAYLE

Design Director

No self respecting guy would go to a salon to get his hair cut. That is why God invented barbershops with those red and white spinning things out front. Second of all, guys have no idea what a facial or a scalp treatment are for, so why would they want to spend their hard earned denarius getting one? These are all preconceptions that I had just recently before I decided to visit SCC’s Campus Salon. Let me say, I no longer have those preconceptions.

BRIAN CHACE/EBBTIDE

Annie Wyatt, AKA Magic Fingers, exfoliating and moisturizing her unsuspecting victim.

I woke up one morning and, after looking at my shaggy, poofy hair, decided to get a haircut. Normally I would go to this guy who’s been cutting hair since WWII and really knows how to cut a guy’s hair, but I knew that he was going to be unavailable. I sucked up all of my courage and decided to go to our Campus Salon over by the 7-Eleven on 160th and Aurora. At first glance as you walk in, the place seems like, amazingly, a regular salon. There are people waiting for their appointments, a counter where you can set appointments, and little old ladies waiting in the lobby to get their hair cut. And of course, that smell. You know, the hair product smell.

Luckily, I got set up with a super cute girl named Jodi to cut my hair. She poked and prodded and pulled my mane, trying to determine exactly what kind of hair I possessed. Apparently I have very thick hair, thus saith Jodi. I was afraid that she’d just start chopping away at my beautiful locks, but instead she took her time and consulted her teacher at every step of the process. In the end, the teacher had to approve the cut before it was completed. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the care that was taken by everyone, and my hair looked simply mahvelous. Definitely a quality haircut.

I came back a week later to check out a few more of the salon’s offerings. This time, I was going to participate in a ritual that I had only heard rumors about in dark alleys. I was to get... a facial. And a scalp treatment. Annie, a hottie with curly blonde hair, led me back to the hidden dungeon of the salon. She led me to a room that, to my chagrin, did indeed have Enya playing soothing melodies over the sound of a bubbling rock fountain. Everyone was whispering softly for some reason. It was kind of spooky. So I sat on the little table while Annie exfoliated, toned, hydrated, moisturized, and masked my poor little face.

I really had no idea what any of the things that she did meant, so I had to ask Annie for a layman’s definition of each step. So here’s how it works: Exfoliating means that they scrape off all of the old crusty skin on your face. Toning balances the pH levels of your face. Hydrating means putting moisture back into dry skin, while Moisturizing means keeping the hydration that you already have in your face in its place. Masking means “locking in” all of the liquid wetness that had just been applied. My face felt pretty darn good when it was all done, but I still don’t understand exactly what happened. Apparently everything has to do with moisture and trying to keep it. I guess that’s why we pay salon people like Annie to understand it for us. Way to go Annie!

Next came the scalp treatment. My new stylist was Kym was so cool. She even gave me her severed head! Well, it was a mannequin head, but whatever. Kym applied what appeared to be crisco to my hair, but it was in fact cholesterol. Yes, THAT cholesterol. A goopy white mess that got massaged into my entire scalp. It felt pretty good. After the application of cholesterol, I had to sit under one of those head heater things. I had this cool hair cap to wear, and I had my newfound girlfriend (the mannequin head) to keep me company. After 15 minutes Kym washed my hair again and styled me up. What a stud!

The whole experience was so much better than I thought it was going to be. The people were extremely pleasant to deal with. The students all had a naive charm to them that you will never find at a “real” salon or barbershop, and they’re super cute too. They talk with you like you were a person, not a customer, and that means a lot to people like me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a facial or a scalp treatment again, but I’m definitely gonna get my hair cut again at the Campus Salon. I mean, $5.00 Mondays?

That’s awesome.

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