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Anonymous Special to the Ebbtide I am (was) Catholic. I am also a victim of sexual abuse. So it is with a heavy heart that I have surveyed the events within the Catholic Church in recent months with varying degrees of dismay, disgust, and disillusionment. My own sexual abuse was an isolated case of acquaintance rape over 13 years ago. I am irritated that I am in the position of having to emphasize that it was not at the hands of a priest. However to say it was life altering is almost an understatement. Sexual abuse under any circumstances does not go away. It consumes you for a long time. Hopefully, with maturity and support, the pain associated becomes secondary to your determination to move on with your life. There are few things you do not forget. Not the least of these, is the fact you are vulnerable. Everyone is not so humane or so well-intentioned. That is this very thing that made me want to crawl into a cave and hide for the better part of two years. Those were teenage years, formative years. I could have used those years. I think back to the parish priest who was present through much of my childhood. He went by Father Al. He was a good man, a true man of God. He baptized me and I had hoped he would perform my wedding. That is how it is supposed to be. Of the thirty or so articles I read in preparation for this article, there were two pervasive themes. First, the Church has been very aware of this problem for quite some time. The April 3rd edition of the Boston Globe contains a report by Ellen Barry stating that there are psychiatric treatment centers that dot this country and Canada. This is where the celibate lifestyle suddenly differs sharply from that of, say, a parent. No parent in their right mind would dream of allowing a known sex offender anywhere near their child under any circumstances. Yet, so many Bishops did that very thing. Pervasive theme number two is that authorities in the church do not know the magnitude of damage that just one sexual impropriety does to a child, let alone a serial pattern of abuse over a period of years. Some survivors repressed the memory of their abuse only to be tormented with it later. These individuals become young adults who are angry, confused, and self-loathing, have control issues, and substance abuse issues that they may or may not recover from. In a Dateline interview with Stone Phillips, Greg Ford describes his reaction to alleged molestation and rape by Father Paul Shanley from age six to 12. He repressed the trauma and began acting out. This progressed to self-mutilation, rage, drug use, and 17 stays in psychiatric institutions over the last 13 years. The diocese of Boston and specifically Cardinal Law have an 800 page file on Shanley with complaints of sexual abuse of young boys dating back to 1967. God only knows how many more Greg Fords are out there. Thousands of priests have been treated over the years. Many were reassigned to new parishes. There may be a million or more victims. Solely a single person, a Bishop, decided the fates of these predatory men. Why was the abuse not reported to police as such? At what point did the Catholic church become above the law? The questions will go on. The issue is clear to me. Criminal negligence among the clergy is so widespread that the task of issuing justice could be nearly as ominous as the pain they have collectively perpetrated. The Bishops, it seems, have been playing God. Editors Note - The author requested anonymity, due to the personal subject matter of this submission. © 2002 Shoreline Community College™ |