By Scott Helm
Sports Editor

You can be a fat, lazy, alcoholic, smoking slob playing against a fit, trim, and athletic person, and still be on the same playing level.

Bowling is affordable and can be played individually or in groups. The sport is enjoyed by all ages, and is kid- (or horrible-adult-bowler)- friendly with the use of bumpers to prevent gutter balls.

Bowling alleys are almost always open late. Can’t sleep? Head on down to the lanes and roll. If you really can’t sleep, Sunset Bowl in Ballard is open 24 hours. Depending on the bowling alley, entering one is like walking back in time to a different era of Americana.

A bowling alley is much more than a place to throw the rock down a lane. It’s the atmosphere. It’s the pull-tabs, karaoke, cheesy art and color schemes, classic diner food, rock ’n’ bowl, bowling-pin beer bottles, the regulars, the shoes, and scouring the racks for the perfect ball.

Let’s not forget the sounds either. The distinctive sound of all ten pins after being crushed by a ball and crashing against the backdrop is music to one’s ears.

The constant sound of rolling and crashing, followed by the screams of joy from someone who just rolled a strike, or the loud groans of someone who just rolled a gutter ball, is the perfect soundtrack for your night out at the alley.

Bowling has had an impact in popular culture. For example, the movies The Big Lebowski and Kingpin are cult classics. Bowling shirts and shoes are distinctive, and have been sort of fashionable over the years. I’ve always wanted a bowling shirt with the name “Lenny” stitched into the pocket.

Former President Richard Nixon installed a bowling alley in the White House; he even bowled a perfect game once (for those of you that don’t know what a perfect game is, it’s bowling strikes in all 10 frames of the game for a perfect score of 300).

Ah, the joys of bowling. Get a group friends together, enjoy a slice of Americana, and let the good times roll…

Now, where to roll…

As more and more places become over-chic and vanilla (not to mention over-priced), I prefer to bowl in a place that’s original and has a bit of history to it. Here’s a sampling of what’s around the Seattle area.

Sunset Bowl in Ballard is now celebrating its 50th year in business, and it’s still very popular. I suggest reserving lanes if you can. If you have to wait to get a lane (and you’re of age), check out the karaoke in the bar. In my opinion, now that Leilani Lanes is gone, this is the crème de la crème of Seattle-area bowling alleys.

If you’re in the mood for bowling and Chinese food, hit up West Seattle Bowl, which has also undergone some impressive renovations that have updated the alley while maintaining that old- school flavor.

If you feel like gambling and bowling, your best bet is Kenmore Lanes.

Spin Alley in Shoreline is home to the best Mexican Restaurant name I’ve ever heard, “La Playa.” On some of the lanes, it even tells you how fast you throw the rock down the alley.

Want to double-dip in leisure activities? Head to Lynnwood to roller skate and bowl at Lynnwood Bowl and Skate.

If you like bowling in a night club setting while paying for over-priced drinks and over-priced games, then the Garage on Capitol Hill is the perfect place for you.

Memories, in the corner of my mind…

After 44 years, the old Leilani Lanes, with its Hawaiian tiki theme, closed on March 31, 2006 to make way for a mixed retail and residential complex. Leilani still stands, waiting for the wrecking ball to tear it down. I wish they would get on with constructing the new building already. It’s like a cruel joke to see it there standing with no life and graffiti all over the outside.

For many of us that grew up in the North Seattle area, the closing of the lanes is still difficult to accept. Leilani provided a place for a group night out, youth group functions, dates, countless birthday parties, side bets with friends, and a place for me to release my frustrations by throwing the ball as hard as I could down the lane. I even briefly dated a waitress that worked there. I got her number while she was serving drinks to me and my friends.

A few weeks before Leilani closed its doors, a group of us said our goodbyes by having an old-fashioned outing at the lanes. We drank adult beverages in the tiki lounge and watched future American Idol tryout contestants belt out their favorite songs while we waited for our lanes to become available. We bowled a few games with the usual side bets and antics, took a bunch of pictures, then left.

Who knows what’s going to happen with these older bowling alleys like Sunset, Kenmore, Robin Hood in Lynnwood, and West Seattle? Are they going to end up like the drive-in theaters and succumb to the demand for valuable real estate? Hopefully not. There are not many fun activities that are affordable these days. Besides, these places are a slice of Americana and home to things like no other.

Photo by Dennie Chong/Ebbtide
A bowler “lets the good times roll” at Lynnwood Bowl & Skate.