English 101

Essay I Peer Review

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Davis Oldham
FOSS 5355
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Overview

This peer review may be a little different from ones you have done in the past. Often peer review means you read your classmate’s paper and make general comments like “It was good” or “Needs more descriptions.” Or, you might just focus on fixing errors like comma splices or misspelled words.

In this exercise, you will be using your classmate’s paper as a lever to improve the quality of your own paper, and vice-versa, using yours as a lever to raise up your classmate’s. The way you’ll do this is by comparing the two papers.

Furthermore, you will not be making unstructured, general comments. Instead, you will answer a few very specific questions below in order to help improve one specific aspect of the writing. Remember the syllabus: Writing is many things, and you cannot do them all at once. This peer review is about just one of those things. Don’t get sidetracked with other aspects of the writing.

Finally, you will not be fixing grammar, spelling or other mechanical problems, unless they are so severe that they prevent you from understanding the paper. Focus on content. Save the mechanics for later.

You may want to look at my reasons for using peer review under “Why Peer Review” on the class website, if you want a more in–depth explanation of my philosophy.

Organization

You will be writing about both your own paper and your classmate’s paper. Write your answers on separate sheets, one for your own paper and one for your classmate’s.

• On one sheet put your name, labeled “Reviewer,” and your classmate’s name, labeled “Author.” Write all your answers about your classmate’s paper on this sheet.
• On the other sheet, put your name and “comments on my own paper.” All your answers about your own paper go here.
• When you are done, give your classmate your comments about their paper (the sheet with their name labeled “Author”). Keep your comments about your own paper (the one labeled “comments on my paper”), and the comments your classmate gave you (the one with your name labeled “Author”). Turn in your own comments, and your classmate’s comments about your paper, with your second draft.

Instructions

Read the paper through once. Then, go back over it and answer the following questions, comparing your classmate’s paper to your own.

1. Which paper has less detail?
• Name one spot in that paper where you would add some more detail. What would you add? Feel free to make something up: The point here is to create a vivid impression, not to be 100% accurate.

Write your answer either on your sheet or on the one you will give your classmate, depending on which paper needs the work.

2. Which paper has details that are less relevant to its story? In other words, of the details that are there, which ones are not so closely related to the experience being described? A story that has just one detail might still have a more relevant detail than one that is full of details that don’t matter.
• Select two of the less relevant details and replace them with something that seems more relevant. Again, feel free to make something up. Also, don’t feel you have to go for the dramatic detail. Subtle details often work better.

Write your answer either on your sheet or on the one you will give your classmate, depending on which paper needs the work.

3. Which paper uses moments that are less representative (typical) of the change being described? Each moment (before, during and after the change) should give the reader a clear picture of what the author was like at that time, by describing speech and behavior (specific actions) that are typical of them at that time. In other words, the moments should prove what the author was like. Decide which paper is less successful at picking examples to prove what the author was like.
• Pick the least representative moment from the story and suggest a way to make it more representative, either by rewriting it or by picking a different moment. Use your imagination.

Write your answer either on your sheet or on the one you will give your classmate, depending on which paper needs the work.

4. Finally, describe one thing your classmate’s paper does successfully that you could emulate in your paper.

Write your answer on the sheet you keep for yourself.